Sorrow Over Sin

As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him. For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust. - Psalm 103:13-14

For even if I made you grieve with my letter, I do not regret it -- though I did regret it, for I see that that letter grieved you, though only for a while. As it is, I rejoice, not because you were grieved, but because you were grieved into repenting. For you felt a godly grief, so that you suffered no loss through us. For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death. - 2 Corinthians 7:8-10


I walked over to a table full of giggling girls, all simultaneously hitting the table, playing some sort of game. I was on "lunch duty." I had already told them that I thought they should stop banging on the table, and after confirming my judgment with another teacher, I walked back to the table to tell them to stop. When I arrived, I asked them to stop, and one of the girls hit the table one last time. Disrespect being clearly the offense, I told the girl to come and seem me in my classroom after school so that I could give her a demerit (essentially a "punishment" for bad behavior, which the students must show to their parents, and which will go on their school record). The student pleaded with me not to give her one, and said how sorry she was, but I knew that sometimes the most loving thing I can do for a student is to punish bad behavior.

The day went on, and I was undecided on whether or not to give her a demerit. When the bell rang to end school, I found her and told her to come to my class to discuss her actions at lunch. I had decided in my heart at this point not to give her a demerit, but I wanted to discuss with her the seriousness of her actions, the seriousness of disrespect. She was coming to my class room with the belief that she was receiving a demerit. When I sat her down, and began to talk to her about her behavior, she began to cry, even sob. I instantly felt compassion for her.

To some, her crying may have been simply an attempt to escape punishment (you girls know what I am talking about), but in my heart, I could see that she was intensely sorry for her actions. I told her that I was not giving her a demerit, but I made sure that she understood that her actions were wrong and that they deserved a punishment. Even after I made it clear that she would not be punished, she continued to sob. The compassion in my heart swelled, and I told her that God was pouring out His awesome grace to her through me. Eventually she left and went home, and only Jesus knows what was going on in her heart, but that moment made a lasting impression on me.

I thought about God and how He mercifully has compassion on us. But then I thought about how different my response may have been had she been cold and unrepentant for her actions. How God must love those who come to His throne of grace, sobbing over the wrong they have done. How His heart must melt with compassion when His children see their sin and are broken over it. I am not saying that God does not punish us after we come to Him sorry for our wrongs, for that is most often the best thing for us. Nonetheless, how God's heart must swell with compassion when His children turn to Him and are genuinely sorry. Perhaps we should pray for broken hearts. Pray for hearts that are so in love with our Heavenly Father that when we turn from Him, we are filled with "godly grieve" for having offended Him by our utter disrespect for His love, His truth, His guidance, and His mercy.


The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise. - Psalm 51:17

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. - Psalm 34:18

But [God] gives more grace. Therefore it says, "God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble." - James 4:6

This Thanksgiving

"Be joyful always; Pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." - 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

As I stood singing praises to our God, my emotions were filled with desperation. Another emotional "ransacking" has recently entered my heart and my thoughts. I mean, let's call it what it is: "a ransacking," a plundering of my emotions. Yet, as I stood praising God, this glorious thought flooded my mind: I have Jesus. I have lost something dear to me in my life, yet I can never lose Jesus. I cannot lose Him!

Have you ever thought for one minute about the weight of time in your life? This life will end. Let's not ponder when that will be. God knows. It will be perfect timing. But ponder this: life is fleeting. "Things" are perishing. Yet the only being that will never be taken from us is Christ. If you have put your faith in Jesus, He is always with you. Always! And you cannot lose Him.

So as I sang a song that I cannot remember at this moment, I do remember this glorious thought: "Clay, you may think that you have lost something of value, and it is valuable, but you can never lose that which is of infinite value - My love, My presence, My protection, My hand."

This Thanksgiving, I praise God, singing, "Thank You Father for Your Son. Thank You for giving us that which never perishes, or leaves, or lacks love. Thank You for Jesus!"

"Whom have I in heaven but You? And earth has nothing I desire besides You. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." - Psalm 73:25-26

The Ultimate Constant

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. - Hebrews 13:8



How beautiful it is to have a savior, lover, friend, and God Who is never changing. He will never change, never end, and never reduce in any way.

I have lately been involved in many changing circumstances. That is hard for me. Basically an emotional "roller coaster." No pity needed. But it is truthfully what is going on with me. I honestly do not even feel like writing this blog, but I will do it anyway. Why? Because my Jesus is unchanging. So, no matter the circumstances, no matter my sin, no matter my feelings or my social status, my Redeemer has never changed in His control of my life, His control of the whole world, nor in His love for me! He is the ultimate Constant.

Are you struggling with consistency in your friendships? ...relationships? Have you suffered from a lack of loyalty from friends, a spouse, or a child? Are you feeling the sadness of the reality that your flesh and your heart are corrupt, full of inconsistencies? Turn to the ultimate Constant. Find joy in the everlasting love of Jesus; the Unchanging, the Alpha and the Omega. He is the same today as He was 10 billion years ago; the same as He was 2000 years ago; the same as He will always be.

A Misdiagnosis

"They dress the wound of my people as though it were not serious. 'Peace, peace,' they say, when there is no peace." -Jeremiah 8:11


God's people have a mighty gash in their side. Sin is protruding from the wound of God's Beloved. Does the Church today see the sin-wound, wrap it with a dressing, and declare the wound as "minor," sending a child of God on his or her way only to die later from internal bleeding? By grace, let us not be like God's people during Jeremiah's day. He has redeemed us; let us not turn from His loving embrace. But when we do, when a member of our Body shifts his focus to the created, let us not say, "Peace! This is nothing serious!"

O The Love of Christ

If you are anything like me, you have trouble "picturing" or "comprehending" what Jesus truly did when He laid down is life for us. Perhaps we will never be able to comprehend it on this earth with these fallen bodies and minds. But as I wrestled through my lack of power to see and love and appreciate what Jesus did for the Redeemed, I "received" a picture in my head that helped me more fully and emotionally connect with the triumph of our Savior on the cross. I say "received" with quotes because I am not claiming that this is a direct revelation from the Father, but I like to assume that He was answering my cries for a better understanding and love for what Jesus did for me on the cross.

So I pictured a tangible person in my life who has clearly exhibited the love of God to me every day of my life, by the power of Christ. For me, it is my mother. Though our long relationship has not been all "roses," she has reflected the love of Jesus for me in a way that no one else ever has. Needless to say, I have developed a deep love for her. Then I pictured my deepest, darkest sin. One that, though I am truly forgiven of, I am deeply ashamed of. It was my fault. I chose to rebel against God. I said, "I want my own way, I want self-gratification, I know what is best!"

Then I pictured my lovely, tender mother saying, "I will take Clay's sin on me so that he does not have to suffer God's wrath, for I love him. I will take on God's wrath so that Clay can be free." She did not deserve my sin! I sinned! But O how she loves me! Then I saw, O the love of Christ!

"I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down His life for the sheep." -John 10:11

Merely A Clay Pot

I have no rights. Nothing is owed me. God owes me nothing.

"Who has ever given to God, that God should repay him" (Romans 11:35)?

No one. "For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever! Amen" (Romans 11:36).

I am simply a humbled, lowly, man of dust; a rich beggar blessed by His love, mercy, and grace.

Who am I to question God? I am but a clay pot.

What if I was to mold with my hands a clay pot, and after it was finished, my perfect work of art, it yelled back at me, "You don't know what you are doing!"

"But who are you, O man, to talk back to God? 'Shall what is formed say to him who formed it, "Why did you make me like this" ' " (Romans 9:20)?

He raises me up and He lays me down. For His purpose I was created. I love my Maker. May He destroy every pride-driven longing inside of me, and may I always remember how sweet it is that I have an infinitely worthy Potter, and I am His clay pot.

Simply In Love With Jesus

Simply in love with Jesus
Each day this love satisfies
Temptations and lies, they call for me

Idols contend for my heart
"Why deny yourself"
"You are a foolish man"

I call out in desperation
"To whom shall I go?"
"I am in love with Jesus"

He gave His life for me
He truly loves me
He does not use me for gain

Is there any other hope?
I will die trusting in Him
He is the only being I have found worthy of my trust

When all my enemies, all my friends, and all my family have left me
He still remains
I cannot deny the One I am simply in love with

Fully Known, A Lesson from Psalm 139

What a great revelation it is that we are completely known. I suppose for some it may be frightening. For example, if you have never acknowledged and forsaken the depths of your sin, it may be unsettling to know that God knows everything that you have ever done. But as a redeemed child of God, the follower of Christ should find comfort in the truth that he or she is fully known (Psalm 139:1). What a great comfort it is to realize that God knows everything about us: our actions (Psalm 139:2-3), our thoughts (Psalm 139:2), our ways (Psalm 139:3), our words before they roll off our tongues (Psalm 139:4), and every detail of our bodies (Psalm 139:13-15). He knows our flaws, our desires, our plans, our pains, our past and our future (Psalm 139:16). He knows what makes us happy, and what makes us sad. He knows our fears, our joys, our strengths, and our weaknesses. Let us rest in the truth that we are fully known and fully loved in Christ Jesus, and called children of God (1 John 3:1).

I am often tempted to measure my worth by what others say or think about me. One of the hardest lessons for me to learn (and I am still learning) is that no man or woman (Christian or non-Christian) determines my worth. We are able to praise God with the psalmist, "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well" (Psalm 139:14). We are deemed "wonderfully made" not because of what our culture says is wonderful, or because of what any human deems wonderful, but rather because of the identity of our Maker. If infinitely perfect hands formed you with infinitely perfect wisdom, then in perfect wisdom you were perfectly made. "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb" (Psalm 139:13).

I pray that instead of letting humans define our worth, we as the Body of Jesus would rest in the knowledge that we are fully known, fully loved, and perfectly made.

Christ Is Our Righteousness

As I was jogging yesterday, this amazing truth hit me, and I felt joy stir within me: I am completely clean; fully forgiven; counted righteous; declared holy by God - the only declaration that matters, for He has the last word. None of my past sins have any place in my life; they do not define who I am or where I am headed.

"God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God" (2 Corinthians 5:21).

"It is because of [God] that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God - that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: 'Let him who boasts boast in the Lord' " (1 Corinthians 1:30-31).

Christ is my righteousness, holiness and redemption. O how great my savior Jesus Christ! Praise His Name! See what He has done for all who believe in His Name, who believe in Him as the Way, the Truth, and the Life. He is great! Sin no longer defines me. The fight is hard but worth it to see that our true identity is in Jesus. Rejoice with me saints, for what is true of "me" is true of you also!

In one of the books I have recently read, When the Darkness Will Not Lift, John Piper quotes the words of John Bunyan on a defining moment when he was set free from the bondage and torment of sin. I believe that it will encourage you greatly as it has me.

"One day I was passing into the field...this sentence fell upon my soul. Thy righteousness is in heaven. And...I saw with the eyes of my soul Jesus Christ at God's right hand; there, I say, was my righteousness; so that wherever I was, or whatever I was doing, God could not say of me, he [lacks] my righteousness, for that was just before him. I also saw, moreover, that it was not my good frame of heart that made my righteousness better, nor yet my bad frame that made my righteousness worse, for my righteousness was Jesus Christ himself, ' The same yesterday, today, and forever ' (Heb. 13:8). Now did my chains fall of my legs indeed. I was loosed from my afflictions and irons; my temptations also fled away; so that from that time those dreadful scriptures of God [about the unforgivable sin] left off to trouble me; now went I also home rejoicing for the grace and love of God" (p. 20-21).

Works cited:

1. Piper, John. When the Darkness Will Not Lift: Doing What We Can While We Wait for God-and Joy. Crossway Books. United States of America: 2006.

The God of Hope

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.     - Romans 15:13

I have recently returned from a summer job where I spent almost all of my time ministering to, spending time with, and loving on campers.  It was exhausting, yet amazingly rewarding when God would allow me to catch a glimpse of what He was doing in the campers' lives, especially when I saw it in one of my guys.  Since my return, I have struggled with major discouragement, melancholy, and sadness.    

One of my biggest struggles this past week has been the fact that I am jobless.  My faith has been tested because I do not even know where to begin looking.  What I have done is to present my anxiety and requests to the Lord.  The tough part about that is that right when I did so, I did not open my eyes to a job offer.  I continue not knowing where to go or even what step to take.  Then I came across this verse in Romans, "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."  Let's break it down:

1.  the God of hope

2.  fill you with all joy and peace

3.  as you trust in him

4.  that you may overflow with hope

5.  by the power of the Holy Spirit

I have prayed this verse over myself, hoping that its truth will make its way into my heart.  As I wait and trust the Lord to guide me where He wants me, He is able to fill me with all joy and peace.  I can overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.  This is real!  So, brothers and sisters, I do not know what you are going through right now, but I know that you are going through or will soon go through something; whether it is a hard decision, circumstance, spiritual attack, or daily life.  There is hope, joy, and peace available to all who trust in Jesus!  Pray this verse with me.

This Body Again Fails Me

"We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently."
- Romans 8:22-25


This body again fails me
For eternal glory I must be patient

I long for perfect joy in Jesus
I long for unending satisfaction in God

This body again fails me
I am bound by its limitations

My flesh yields ungodly thoughts, actions, emotions
Of course I am only saved by grace

What a great God I have
He saved me from my failing body

This body again fails me
Yet because of Him, my new self is but a babe in the hands of eternity

For eternal glory I must be patient
But it will come

Unfailing Love

Unfailing love.  Though I am downcast, He loves me.  Though I am cast out, He loves me.  Though they think I am weird, He loves me.  Though I am rejected, He loves me.  Though I am lonely, He loves me.  Though I am ugly, He loves me.  Though I struggle, He loves me.  Though I sin, He loves me.  Though I don't know what the day holds, He loves me.  Though I am misunderstood, He loves me.  Though I am tired, He loves me.  Though I don't know what to do, He loves me.  Though I don't know how to get out of this pit, He loves me.  

"Let your face shine on your servant; save me in your unfailing love."   Psalm 31:16

"Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you."    Psalm 63:3

The Rambling Cries of the Soul

But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ" (Philippians 3:7-8).

All we have belongs to Jesus. All we are belongs to Jesus. Where we are going tomorrow belongs to Him. What we are doing right now belongs to Him. What we are thinking belongs to Him. Our next thought belongs to God. Our purpose belongs to God. O what rest for the wandering sheep of Christ. Drink deep from the waters of Christ. He is good and will satisfy all of your needs. For He is good. He has no ending. We have no profit apart from Christ. So let's lose all for Him, for in that we gain. "For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain" (Philippians 1:21).

"Who has ever given to God, that God should repay him? For from him and through him to him are all things. To him be the glory forever! Amen" (Romans 11:35-36). Our lives are not our own, they were bought at a price; let's honor God with our bodies. It is all His. Submit to His mighty, lovely, tender, hand of grace. He is good, and He will handle your heart with hands of perfect love. O God, how great Your love for the redeemed. You came for us, and You will not leave us behind. Settle our broken hearts, let us rest in Your unfailing love. You are mighty, all knowing. Satisfy our longings. No earthly lover could ever satisfy the pit within our souls. Only Your mighty whispers can quiet my struggling heart.

Clear Vision

The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God...For God, who said "Let light shine out of darkness," made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. -2 Corinthians 4:4,6


The battle is a fight to see clearly, and clear vision reveals Christ Jesus as the image of God. Oh what grace God has lavished on those who see Christ for who He really is. In light of this verse, my supplications to God for my lost friends have been a plea for Him to remove the veil that the enemy has placed over their eyes, that they may see clearly.

Wounded in Love

"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.
- John 15:1-2 NIV


prune v. "To cut off that which is not wanted or not necessary" (Webster's Dictionary and Thesaurus, p. 199).


These two verses from John are so fascinating to me for several reasons. First, are they not so very true? Do they resonate so painfully deep within you as they do me? God has been doing a work within me ever since He saved me, and I have seen Him take objects, thought-patterns, and people out of my life so that I can be even more fruitful, displaying the greatness of the Vine. That in itself is such a fascinating reality: God is active in my life, and He is the one removing things. There is an initial temptation to be angry with him for these upheavals, but I need to fight to see His work for what it is - to cause me to shine brighter.

My eyes were opened the other day to the word "prune" in John 15:2. This word should be important to all who are in Christ, for we are the branches in these verses (John 15:5). We are the branches and we are being pruned by God. This reality is what prompted me to look up the word "prune" in Webster's Dictionary: "To cut off that which is not wanted or not necessary." I don't know about you, but that word "cut" does not pass by me with ease. When God prunes us, he is cutting us deeply; he wounds us in love to make us more beautiful. If He did not, we would not produce more fruit. We would not be all that we are intended to be.

In the book The Hidden Smile of God by John Piper, Piper outlines the lives of three extraordinary saints: John Bunyan, William Cowper, and David Brainerd. In it is a quote from John Bunyan that I think is beautiful and highlights well what I am trying to say. It reads,

"Conversion is not the smooth, easy-going process some men seem to think....It is wounding work, of course, this breaking of the hearts, but without wounding there is no saving....Where there is grafting there is cutting, the scion must be let in with a wound; to stick it on to the outside or to tie it on with a string would be of no use. Heart must be set to heart and back to back, or there will be no sap from root to branch, and this I say, must be done by a wound" (p.65).

What a beautiful passage, one in which may have inspired this entry. Are you being pruned? Or perhaps a better question would be, can you feel the pruning work of the Lord? It hurts. It is sad work that sometimes brings tears. Know that your heavenly Father is pruning you. Know that He loves you. Know that He is a perfect "gardener," and His pruning work always produces the best of fruit.





Works Cited

Piper, John. The Hidden Smile of God. Crossway Books. Wheaton, Illinois: 2001.

Webster's Two In One Dictionary And Thesaurus. Nichols Publishing Group. U.S.A.: 1999.

Where Is Joy?

There was a man who lived, once upon a time. As he grew up, all of his dreams came true. He got the woman he desired. She was beautiful, and a faithful wife. He became the leader of an organization that was one of the most powerful organizations in the world. It was the job that he had always wanted. Before marriage, he and his future wife dreamed and talked often of having children together; specifically three boys and two girls. After fifteen years of marriage, their dream was fulfilled. All of their children were healthy in every way, and they grew up to be very successful men and women. When the man turned 50 years-old, he had attained so much wealth that he was able to retire from work. He and his wife moved to their favorite vacation spot; another dream becoming a reality. The man and his wife saw their children often, and were blessed with many grandchildren.

There once lived another man, alive during this same time. He was born into the world with a rare disease; one the doctors said would take his life around the age of 30. One day, he fell deeply in love with a beautiful woman, a woman he had known and admired his whole life. He had always dreamed of being with her. They were great friends. He finally poured out his heart to her one day, hoping that she would return his affections, affirming his dreams for them. She, however, did not love him back. He eventually moved on, and engrossed himself in his baseball career. He was a superior college athlete, who everyone said would one day end up playing major league baseball. Unfortunately one day, during a game, as he dove for a ball, he broke his leg so badly that he was unable to play baseball again. His dreams of playing baseball professionally were over. Of course, with his disease, how long would he live anyway? He finally fell in love again and married. He and his wife always dreamed of having a family; specifically three girls and two boys. One day the doctor broke the news to them that they were unable to have children. After the sadness, in time, they adopted two beautiful children. Meanwhile, though the man worked harder than most men at what he did, his job did not provide much money for his family. Yet there was always enough. As the years passed on, this man, this husband, this father, passed away from the disease that he was born with; he was 38 years-old.

There was another man who lived once upon a time. We find him sitting on a beach, writing in his journal and enjoying the ocean breeze. Hearing joyous laughter, he looked up, peering over his glasses. He saw two families, and observed them intently; he enjoyed contemplating things. It so happens that these two families were the two families from earlier in this story. He noticed one family shining brightly and bursting with joy. The other family, he observed, seemed to be sad and empty. Still contemplating the situation before him, he stared at the family that shown so brightly and thought to himself, "where is the father?" After a few of his own quick answers to this internal question, something else along the beach caught his eye, and his mind wandered towards other things. Only later would he come to grasp what he had seen that day, something that he would later tell his grandchildren...


"What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul?" Mark 8:36

"Then will I go to the alter of God, to God, my joy and my delight. I will praise you with the harp, O God, my God." Psalm 43:4

Man Does Not Live On Bread Alone...

Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted by the devil. After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry. The tempter came to him and said, "If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread." Jesus answered, "It is written: 'Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.' " - Matthew 4:1-4



"Remember how the Lord your God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands. He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your fathers had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord." - Deuteronomy 8:2-3



When Jesus was tempted, as we also have been and will be again, he wielded the sword of the scriptures. He used the truth of God to resist temptation. He not only set an example for us to follow, but also showed us the way to battle temptation: by the word of God. In order to battle this way, we must know the word of God, trust the word of God, and use the word of God as a weapon against the blows of the enemy. Psalm 119: 9-11 says: "How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word. I seek you with all my heart; do not let my stray from your commands. I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you." How can we live pleasing to God if we do not know what He says? How can we battle the everyday temptation to succumb to our flesh, in turn pleasing ourselves and the devil? We must devour His word daily. Not as a law, but as life! Our Lord Jesus, the maker of us and all things, whose love knows no bounds declares: "Man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord." Therefore, let us seek God in His word, let us fill up with spiritual food, and let us prepare for battle against the enemy! If we do not, because He loves us, He may along with the Israelites humble us and cause us to hunger, so that we will learn that man does not live on bread alone...

Naked Before God

"And you, my son Solomon, acknowledge the God of your father, and serve him with wholehearted devotion and with a willing mind, for the Lord searches every heart and understands every motive behind the thoughts..." (1 Chronicles 28:9)


"Then they prayed, 'Lord, you know everyone's heart...' " (Acts 1:24).


We cannot go anywhere that God is not. We cannot hide from Him physically or mentally. He knows our deepest thoughts. This means that He knows the depth of our sin. Just because I have never done "so and so" does not mean that I haven't thought about doing "so and so." That is sin: "But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment" (Matthew 5:22), and "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:28). Our God is so awesome and huge that he knows all things. This is why we must make it a habit of refining our thought lives. God knows our motives. We must live knowing that we have an ever-present accountability. I do not mean to paint a picture of God as waiting with a whip for us to "mess up." He is way better than that. But I do want to recognize that our thoughts do matter, and we should consider that God knows all of them!

I want to also mention the greatness of God knowing us so intimately. The fellowship is great between two beings who know one another well enough that one can anticipate the other's next word. However, even my best friend does not know me like the living God. Jesus knows all of our tendencies, and can sympathize with our weaknesses in our thought lives. Knowing that God knows all of my thoughts helps me to understand the never-ending fellowship that I have with Him. We always have access to Him because of Christ. God is so awesome that we can pray to Him without speaking a word. O how joyful it is to know that the One who knows us better than ourselves loves us beyond comprehension.

Does Our Father Have Favorites? Will I Be Left Out?

Have you ever feared as a child of God that you are going to be left out? I guess as a youngest child, I can relate to the reality of being "left out" of things. Growing up, it seemed to come around often that I was "too small to play," or "too young to come along." Perhaps this reality in my life has developed within me a tendency to believe the lie that I will be "left out." Can you relate? Now that I am older, I am no longer bound by the fear of being left out of games or events or friendships, though those too can tend to wound me. Now, I tend to slip into the fear of being left out of the awesome things that are happening in God's kingdom. There is a longing inside of me to know that Jesus has a specific plan for my life and that He will use me amidst His amazing plans to glorify God. I must admit that these fears rear their ugly head most often when I turn my gaze away from God and onto humans. I see what others are doing and begin to covet; then, I begin to fear being left "behind" or being "left out." Ultimately, I think that I fear that God has favorites, and that I am not one of them. If you are one who struggles with these fears alongside me, go with me to God's Truth. It is there that we will see the truth and be set free:

As the Lord declared to those "...carried into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon...'For I know the plans I have for you'..."(Jeremiah 29:4,11), so I believe we can hold onto the same declaration today: that God has a plan for us.

"Then Peter began to speak: ' I now realize how true it is that God does not show favoritism but accepts men from every nation who fear him and do what is right' " (Acts 10:34-35).

"For God does not show favoritism" (Romans 2:11).

"And masters, treat your slaves in the same way. Do not threaten them, since you know that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and there is no favoritism with him" (Ephesians 6:9).

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for his wrong, and there is no favoritism" ( Colossians 3:23-25).

The Bridge

Vast armies of men have walked across this bridge. In fact, every single human has passed it. The bridge is wide at its beginning. At this point men laugh often and dream many dreams about their future glory. However, a curious things happens as the bridge continues; it gets increasingly narrow. As certain men continue walking it, they notice that some of their companions have fallen off. They laugh less now, yet when they do it is wonderfully joyous. Their focus continues to turn from themselves to what is in their hand. Their thoughts are not about their future glory, but the future glory. Their senses are much more alive than when they first stepped onto the bridge. They begin to notice that their bodies are eroding as they stagger towards the end of the bridge. It is now evident that many are turning back, longing for the beginning of the bridge. As these turn around, they stumble off the bridge. Yet those who continue on notice their joy increasing as they approach the end of their journey. At this point, they cast off anything on them that hinders them from sprinting to the end. The one thing that they do not let go of is that which remains in their hands. The end is coming, and the bridge is so narrow now that only a few are standing side by side. At the end is a massive hand, and a deep chasm. They jump, but their bodies are too feeble to make it, and they refuse to let go of that which remains in their hands. Alas, the hand grabs them and takes them to the other side of the deep chasm. Some look over the side of the hand back towards the bridge. Seeing many men falling off they yell, "Pick up the stone!" For what they saw surprised them: men of all races stumbling over the stone which they themselves had picked up; the cornerstone which they cherished.

"For in Scripture it says: 'See, I lay a stone in Zion, a chosen and precious cornerstone, and the one who trusts in him will never be put to shame.' Now to you who believe, this stone is precious. But to those who do not believe, 'The stone the builders rejected has become the capstone,' and, ' A stone that causes men to stumble and a rock that makes them fall.' They stumble because they disobey the message - which is also what they were destined for."
1 Peter 2:6-8

Identity

To whomever left a comment on the last post...Thank you! It encourages me that you have been encouraged. In response to your comment, I have found a sheet of paper that I received a year or so ago about who we as followers of Christ are in Him. I don't know who put it together, but it is beautiful! This is what it says:

If you are "in Christ" you have a new identity:

You are a friend of God. John 15:15

You are already a citizen of heaven. Philippians 3:20

You are safe because you are hidden with Christ in God. Colossians 3:3

You are chosen by God. Ephesians 1:4

You are adopted by a loving Father. Ephesians 1:5

You are forgiven. Colossians 1:14

You are included, never to be left out. Ephesians 1:13

You are a saint. (imagine that) Ephesians 1:18

You are the salt and light of the earth. Matthew 5:13-14

You are a minister. 2 Corinthians 5:17-20

You have access to God. Ephesians 2:18

You are called by name. 2 Timothy 1:9

You are prayed for by Jesus. John 17:20-23

You have the mind of Christ. 1 Corinthians 2:16

You are protected. John 10:28

You are rescued from a dark kingdom. Colossians 1:13

You are not cursed. Galatians 3:13

You are victorious. 1 Corinthians 15:57

You have a new birth certificate. John 3:3

God's Thoughts, your thoughts

My thoughts about myself mean nothing. I could spend a whole day in my bedroom with the door closed defining my worth, but if those definitions and thoughts of myself are not based on Truth, they are worthless. They mean nothing! I love it when I read or hear saints say, "humble yourself and accept what God says is true about you." I have heard that said several times in my life and it is true. Who am I to tell God that what He says about me is not as true as what I say about me. Who made truth? God! Let's let Him determine the truth in all situations.

A lot of times, I don't think we realize we are opposing what God says is true because we don't know what He says. We must turn to His Word which is breathed by Him for His glory and our righteousness (2 Timothy 3:16-17). "Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth" (John 17:17). As Jesus prayed to the Father for His disciples, He made it clear where we find truth and that God's truth is what sanctifies. Part of the sanctification process is renewing our minds with truth; thinking Godly to discern God's will (Romans 12:2). If we know that what God says is truth, and we submit ourselves under His mighty hand saying "You have the last word," then we can always test our own thoughts and know if they are of the truth or not.

Abba, under the blood of Christ we ask that You would sanctify us by Your Word. Help us to know truth and to live in truth. Show us what You say about us, and let us humbly accept Your Word. Amen.

April 2, 2007 A Prayer

Lord I am tired. Physically, spiritually; I am tired deep within my heart. Carry me through today. You love me! Do You feel what I am going through? Give me understanding O Father. Give me discernment. Holy Spirit, lead me into all truth. "Deep calls to deep in the roar of Your waterfalls;" give me rest in this area of my life Lord Jesus. Please Lord, hear my deep groanings. Please Father, fulfill my desires or remove them! "My soul yearns, even faints for the courts of the Lord." Consume me with You Lord Jesus. Take me over, and let Yourself be glorified through this vessel. Why do I feel like I am on the outside looking in? Will You consume me today? For I hang on Your every word...

Need Help With Your Straw?

Lunchtime at the preschool is quite a festive event. As a teacher, before we eat, we go around and help all of the kids open up their lunches. Some need a zip-lock bag opened, some need a top taken off of their plastic container, while others need their straw poked into their drink. With our kids filling up two tables, I choose one to sit at and help that table with the "opening duties."



One day, I had gone around the table and sat down to eat, concluding that everyone had their "stuff" opened. I was sitting by one of the girls in my class and I noticed that her liquid yogurt hadn't been opened. I naturally reached for her straw to poke it through the foil on top. Not surprisingly she wanted to poke it in herself. So I sat and watched her, waiting for her to ask for my help. I knew it was only a matter of time. She poked at the top with the straw creating a little hole, but not one big enough to fit the straw in. She continued to poke and poke, and no matter how hard she did so, she couldn't get the straw in. I continued to watch and wait. Finally she asked me to get the straw in for her and I poked it in with minimal effort. While these events took place before me, I began to grasp something that I knew God was teaching me.



As one can imagine, God teaches me a lot through these little ones. Though I knew that I could help the little girl in my class get the straw in her drink, she didn't want me to. She denied my help at first because she wanted to do it her way. So I sat and watched with a smile, just waiting for her to ask for my help. She struggled until she was tired of doing so, and then asked me to do it for her. Then, the goal was accomplished.



Though I as a teacher am a poor comparison to the all mighty God, I couldn't help but see that God was teaching me about how we, as His children, relate to Him sometimes. We acknowledge that He is our head, but when it comes to a decision to make or a step to take or even in our daily ministries, we do not let Him help. Of course He does way more than help, He is our source of power (Colossians 1:10-12). I couldn't help but think to myself, "Man, sometimes I do not even acknowledge God and accept His help (that is always available) because I want to do things my way. I struggle and struggle, and finally I realize that I cannot do it on my own. I turn to Him and ask for help: "wham!" The straw is in my drink. I can only imagine that God is sitting there waiting for us to ask Him for help. He is letting us struggle to show us that we need Him. "I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing" (John 15:5).



Of course help only means "help." It does not mean that what we want to happen will happen. God may help us out of what we think we want. I speak in generalities because only you know what you are going through. What I do think God wants us to realize is that we are infinitely in need of help, and He is our Helper.



"...because God has said, ' Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you. ' So we say with confidence, ' The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?' " - Hebrews 13:5b-6



"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. " - Romans 8:26

Don't Stumble Into the Snare

"The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe." Proverbs 29:25


I am daily tempted to fear man. Of course when I say "man" I mean humankind. Fear is not simply being afraid that he or she is going to physically harm us. I daily face fears that what humans say or think about me is more true than what God says about me. Many times, I face a contrast between the two. It is when I begin to fear humans and their thoughts of me that my joy begins to waver. My focus has gone from trusting in God to the fear that what humans say or think about me will be my end. But when the Father draws my gaze back to Himself, I find that the "rocks" hurled (accidentally or intentionally) at me by humans sting for a minute, but quickly fall to the ground. Here are some of my fears:

- that I will be found out; found to be second-rate when I seem to be a winner

- that others are more spiritual than me

- that if I am not perfect then I will lose that which I care about

- relational fears that turn into jealousy and performance anxiety

- that others are simply "better" than me

...all of these are rooted in lies. I have gone from trusting what God says about me in His Word (like Psalm 139:13-16) and turned to fearing man's evaluation of me.

Have you lately found yourself in a "valley" because of what a human says or thinks or has done to you? Measure what they have thrown your way against God's Word, and trust God. Let's start trusting God and leaving the fear of man behind us.

Jesus, help us with Your power to trust You and to overcome our fear of man.

When Pain Opened My Eyes to Love

My soul cried out to God in anguish. I had never felt this way before. My investment in this girl had gone beyond God's boundaries, and now I was reaping what I had sown. She closed the door to me and said no more. God was ripping an idol out of my life and it hurt; no, it was agonizing. I cried and yelled until around four in the morning. Then I went home; I couldn't sleep. I went to the coffee shop early in the morning. As I was walking back to my car the pain filled my eyes with tears and I sat down in front of my car. I was exhausted; the tears felt good. I dialed my mom and recounted for her the night of pain. God was there. Then, O what love, my parents got in the car and drove to spend the day with me. The beginning of healing. Days down the road, I called my mom very early in the morning and she gladly got out of bed and listened to my lamenting. O what a love. Through all of the pain God finally opened my eyes to something. I saw the amazing and sacrificial love of my parents, finally realizing that God loves me (and all of His saints) infinitely more than my parents (or their parents) ever will. My parents are bound by their human nature. Their love only goes so far. God's love has no bounds. O what a love! He shows me infinite mercy, infinite love, infinite compassion and understanding. He offers infinite help, infinite truth, and He never leaves...

"And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, 'Abba! Father!' So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God."
- Galatians 4:6-7

"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?...neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
- Romans 8:35, 39